Here I am. Awake. Struggling to fall in sleep, again.

No one told me that when you have a child you automatically give up on sleeping.

I think at all the movies in which a sleepless night bring wisdom and revelations, how romantically it’s portrayed. Clearly these nights in the movies never involve children.

First you don’t sleep because you’re expecting a baby, either because you’re pregnant, or because you’re terrified by what the adoption panel will ask you.

Then the baby arrives, and you don’t sleep because he likes the night life! Feeding, teething, stomach bug, flu… Anything really to interrupt your sleep after no longer than 4 hours.

You lay restless in bed, rolling from side to side, checking the time every 5 minutes, and then you think of something to post on Tweet with your mobile phone. You listen to all the by now familiar sounds of the night. And just when you are about to fall asleep again, your dog throws a fuss because the neighbour cat crossed the garden.

Then there are the nights in which your baby finally sleeps peaceful till morning. Those night are even worst than the nights in which your baby keeps you up. You feel a sense of panic, almost like something bad is about to happen: why didn’t I hear him calling me till now?

So, you quietly walk to his door. Touch the door handle, and push the door open. The subtle squeaking of the handle is enough, he’s awake now. You ask yourself why you bothered, and you know that putting him to sleep again will be a uphill struggle. Still no sleep for you…

Sleeping becomes just a long gone dream, something reserved to the young. Maybe it’s just that been a parent comes with insomnia. In time you build up hours and hours of a new hobby: lying still in the dark.

Funny thing is that, for what I’m told, your son will wake up regularly every night till the day you need him to be up and awake ready for school. From there on it will be a constant struggle to get him out of bed, and only then – if you’re lucky enough – you might enjoy a full night sleep…

I can hardly wait!

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