We are two weeks away from Fostering Panel, and I’m getting increasingly worried. No, not about panel. After attending Adoption and Matching Panel, Fostering Panel it’s just another day at the office. What worries me is what comes with fostering and my role as a main foster carer. It’s about my family and its ability to adapt. And it’s about Ben and how he will cope with it. Now that we are so close to panel, I have to wonder if this is the right choice for us.

Life with Ben is a roller coaster of great days—even great weeks at times—filled with laughs, happiness, love and joy, followed by the anger, defiance, provocations, temper, and the rage of the bad days. Don’t get me wrong, I think we have more good days than bad ones, not that I ever counted them, really, but so it seems.

Our is a happy life, but in constant need of adjusting, returning, and twitching to remain so. Our life is a structured one, made of weekly planners, set times, timer countdowns, and lots and lots of patience. When things start to go bad, we need to make swift changes to repair the situation before it collapses. Sometimes I feel like a bit like a magician, always with a new trick in the hat, but what if I run out of tricks in a middle of a placement?

Diego and I keep going through the pros and cons of welcoming foster children in our home, and how this will impact on Ben. He is still little, and we will be asking so much of him. He will need to learn how to share his toys and playroom, how to share us and our attentions, sharpen his social and communication skills, and become more independent from a very early age.

As if all that wasn’t enough, he will need to deal with the conclusion of each placement: we’ll lose a foster child, Ben will lose a brother or sister.

As a parent, I want to give the best I can to my son, and I want him to be happy and satisfied with his life. Ben will have so much to gain from fostering, some I can predict, and some I can’t.

This will be, for Ben, an opportunity to learn about being tolerant, open, outgoing and kind. A chance to learn about new cultures, new habits, and new emotions. Above all, I hope understanding about life in care will help him making sense of his own adoption story, and process his own losses.

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4 Comments

    • Laura Boccaleone 23rd September 2016 Reply
  1. Claire Potter 24th September 2016 Reply
    • Laura Boccaleone 24th September 2016 Reply

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