My son Ben is at a wonderful age. He believes in fairytales where everything is possible: superheroes, talking trains, chubby honey bears and gold pots at the end of rainbows. When I read him a bedtime story, the characters of the books become real, and they come to fill his bedroom and populate his mind. Imagination is such a distinctive trait of childhood, and as parents, we like to encourage it and hope they will never completely let go of it.
I cannot recall when was the last time I believed blindly in flying people, or magic and illusion. I’m quite pragmatic, and I grow up in a world with little imagination in it. My parents always told me the truth about pretty much everything, and they had a scientific approach to all my questions. We used the have a 15 volumes encyclopaedia that contained all the knowledge I could ever seek, but no space for enchanted forests, fairies or Santa with his reindeers living at the North Pole with his helpful elves.
I’ve never wondered what to tell my son about Santa, because in my mind I already knew: “Santa was a man called St.Nicholas who was very kind and rich, and gave lots of gifts to his friends. The fat man in the red costume you are referring to, comes instead from a very popular advert from Coca-Cola”. That’s what make sense in my mind and it came to me as a big surprise that my always-rational husband Diego though instead we should tell Ben that Santa exists, and will bring him presents for Christmas.
It’s not telling my son a lie that worries me, I can condone one little white lie, but I’m struggling to understand which purpose the existence of Santa would serve. Wouldn’t be better for Ben to grown up knowing that us, the loving parents, are the ones buying the presents?
On the other end, there is something special about believing in magic. Can you imagine the possibilities? I wonder what the little confused and complicated mind of my son would think about flying reindeers: would he try to understand how they can fly? Would he stare at the sky hoping to spot one up there? Would he ask to go on the sleigh for a ride with Santa?
We get told by every expert how important imaginative play is for children. It’s such an important step in the development of their cognitive mind. It’s how they learn to solve problems and elaborate feelings, how they evolve language and assimilate culture, and develop their motor skills and social abilities.
So my question is: which one is actually imaginative play?
Is it telling my son that Father Christmas will come with his loyal flying reindeers to bring presents, or is it telling that Santa doesn’t exist but as a family we will be pretending he does to create a magical Christmas together?
Santa brings stocking presents only in our family. Everything else comes from who it comes from under the tree. Way it was for myself and my siblings and it seems to work. Plus we go with Santa comes to all children who try to be good – given Sqk’s impulsivity this is important. I correct anyone who tries to imply differently.
Dear rh,
I like the idea of “all children who try to be good”. It’s a great way to reward the children for their effort and not for their results. I find it very annoying when people imply Santa won’t come because they see what they think it’s naughty behaviour, it brings so much shame and fear in children (adopted or otherwise).
Thanks for stopping by.
I found the santa thing tough too but it was the lie as I have been brought up to be very straight. But I soon realised the joy and excitement and we let it run as long as it could. We don’t have santa bring all the gifts though, he just brings one reasonably priced one as he buys for every child in the world. The rest they know come from us. Like your commenter above we don’t attach it to specific behaviour either as I would never not do it even if there was a major issue. I think it is a great fantasy and then when they learn the truth it can be great to partake in it, keeping it secret from younger children. My eldest is in this position and loves it.
Hi Kirsten, I have good memories of Christmas even tho, to me, Santa was just another character in another story. The presents were important, of course, but I don’t remember any of them. What I do remember is spending time with the whole family and feeling part of it, and that’s one of my most valuable memories. I’d like for my son to have that too. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
I agree with the first comment. Santa brings all the kiddy presents and the adult stuff is bought. I think I will tell white lies to my littlies until I just know the belief is almost gone and they are genuinely asking. I think, I understood when told the truth and kept it alive for my brother. Christmas lost it’s magic when I stopped believing I must say. xx #twinklytuesday xx
Hi Sarah,
I have to admit that Santa can bring joy and smiles. Today the postman rang the doorbell. My son Ben run at the door and when he saw the red figure standing behind the frosted glass door, he came to find me screaming with excitement: “Mamy Santa is at the door! Santa at the door!”. And that was really a magical moment.
Thanks for stopping by.
My daughter was terrified at the idea that a man was watching her all year long and then breaking into our house once a year. If you think about it, Santa is kind of a creep. We told her the truth (she was 7) because she kept having panic attacks. I wish you better luck.
Your daughter is quite right, there is something creepy in an old man breaking into houses and asking children to sit on his lap! I bet your Christmas got easier since you told her the truth. So far my son is happy with the idea that Santa will bring him one present, and for now, he did ask how or why. Happy Christmas. XX