Being a foster carer is one of the most difficult roles one can assume. But how well are foster carers doing? What is your opinion on the family who looked after your child?
The results
We didn’t know what to expect from the result of this poll. It’s common to hear stories of deplorable behaviour from foster carers, but that is so different from our experience. The results of this poll in part reflect what we always thought: most foster carers do care, and try to do more than what is expected for their children, while other still manage to do an OK job. But unfortunately, the poll also highlights how a significant percentage (over 22%) of adoptive families have more than compelling reasons to criticise the work we do. You can find real cases in the comments below.
It is great news for all those foster carers who are doing the best they can for their children, because it suggests that their hard work will not go unnoticed. But it also represents a serious warning for prospective adoptive families. Not every foster carer is into fostering for the right reasons, and any real concern should be reported to protect the safety of other children.
Our children had 3 different foster carers in the 8 months they were in care. The first one took them in as an emergency before they moved to the second one. At the second one they had Christmas and one of them had a birthday, but they received no presents that we have seen from them in the time they were there. Once the children were moved on from them that foster carer took themselves off the books.
I have based my answer on the last foster carer they had, who proved that some foster carers are totally brilliant. We are still in regular contact with them and their family. They continually give us support on general things and are very much an ongoing part of ours and our children’s lives. We are very thankful that our children spent time with them as they created an excellent foundation for us to base our lives as a family on.
Our son only had 1 foster family, but we understand that this is quite rare and children get shuffled from family to family until a reasonable plan is drawn. We love our son’s foster carer, they are part of our family now, and one of the reasons we ourselves decided to become foster carers.
We just had a little girl just age 8 staying with us as an emergency placement. A social worker dropped her off just before midnight, and by 2pm the following day they asked me to take her at a drop off centre. Since the beginning it was clear she wouldn’t have stayed with us, but I suppose they just needed a bed for the night.
It’s sad and very hard on the kids.
There’s not a box that covers my feelings about a foster career who treated 2 children the way she did. Smacking children for wetting themselves and making them eat their own sick, not passing their belongings on in a timely fashion doesn’t fit in one of your boxes ?
The foster care training prepares you about allegations: serious complaints which are more often raised by the birth parents. I spent the whole training thinking it was about defending yourself from false accusations, I never thought there could be cases in which the accuser is actually right. It’s tragic how some family are allowed to look after children, whether in foster or not. I really hope something was done after the incidents were reported.
There were too many to answer just one feeling about all of them. Some were OK. Some did an OK job until the decided not to support transition to an adoptive home. Some molested kids.
We didn’t think of including the option “My foster carers where sexual predators”, I’m speechless. Also, I never understood how some foster carers are not willing to help children in the transition to their forever family. We believe it is part of the job, and we met many foster carers who share our view on this matter.